Friday, February 19, 2010

When I Die...


The word conjures up images of pain, suffering and grief!

What is it about death that scares me? It is not as if I am worried about my own death. When I was young, I was scared that my parents would die in some accident and I would be rendered an orphan! Recently, my wife went on an official trip for about two-three weeks. I didn’t realize much when I dropped her at the airport. But when I came home from office, I felt a slapping vacuum. I have stopped myself from thinking about Cheeku and Pumpkin. They have shorter life span than human beings.

I was mightily depressed after Rajiv Gandhi's assassination. I was all of 15, then!

So, it is not necessarily only the loss of near and dear ones that affects!

What is it about death that scares us, if not ours then of our loved ones? Even people with whom we have never interacted seems to affect us? This despite that death is the only certainty in our lives and we all are aware or have been made aware of.

This could be fear of loss of one or a combination of the needs as prescribed in Maslow’s Theory on Hierarchy of Needs. Like when I was in school, the basic and security needs could have weighed heavily on my mind. But Maslow’s Theory doesn’t provide all answers.

Our life is akin to the particles in the universe. It is believed that the particles are always in constant motion while exerting pressure and maintaining a bond with other particles. When a star dies and becomes a Black Hole, it exerts far more pressure on nearby objects than it does in its lifetime. Similarly, we realize the impact of someone who is close more when the person is not around. Even if we don’t keep in touch with a person on a daily basis, the loss is felt. Like a computer, our memory is filled with the thoughts about the person. When we realize that the source of those experiences is not there, we suffer. The emotions and feelings could be mixed, but without a doubt very hard.

There is no running from the fact. Enduring the pain is the only way out.
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